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A unique ache haunts many young adults in their twenties and early thirties: the feeling of being left behind in life. This sensation often emerges during wedding seasons, promotion announcements, and perfect-looking posts on Instagram. With just one scroll, an ordinary Tuesday can suddenly amplify feelings of inadequacy.
Last month, I had coffee with a previous colleague. Midway through a lighthearted catch-up, his tone dropped, and his eyes drifted to the window. “Everyone is ahead of me,” he said, half-laughing. “Married. Promoted. Buying houses and having babies. Meanwhile, I am… just here wishing I had a family and was leading a church.”
A unique ache haunts many young adults in their twenties and early thirties: the feeling of being left behind in life. This sensation often emerges during wedding seasons, promotion announcements, and perfect-looking posts on Instagram. With just one scroll, an ordinary Tuesday can suddenly amplify feelings of inadequacy. The relentless pace of the world becomes a harsh measure of our worth, judging us not by our commitment but by the milestones we achieve.
But Jesus never asked us to measure our lives by someone else’s timeline. In fact, He invites us to something altogether different.
At some point, many of us begin to follow an invisible timeline:
You should know your career path by 23.
You should be married or at least on the verge of it by 28.
You should own a house by 30.
You should feel like you know yourself by this stage in your life.
It is rarely spoken aloud, yet it permeates our lives—in family expectations, social media, and even in well-meaning conversations that often end with, "So, what's next?” When life doesn’t follow this script, we can internalize a sense of failure: What’s wrong with me? Why am I still waiting? But what if you’re not late?What if you’re perfectly on time for the life that was always meant to be yours?
My collegiate career took many unexpected turns. I failed out of Indiana Wesleyan University after my junior year. I was discouraged and embarrassed. I will never forget the night me and my wife told my parents at an IHOP. It would take ten years after my high school graduation before I finally walked across the stage with my bachelor’s degree. Ten years of detours, wrestling with self doubt, and wondering if I had permanently missed the plan. There were times I felt like I had forfeited my future. That I would always be behind.
The truth is, the myth of “on time” or “getting ahead in life” are two of the most toxic lies our culture tells us. God never promised a linear path. Instead, he invites us into a path of surrender.
Jesus said, ““Seek first the kingdom of God... and all these things will be added to you” (Matt. 6:33). I understand that the phrase “kingdom of God” can seem distant or abstract. But consider this: what if the invitation is not to pursue a formula but to focus your life on what is profoundly true, good, and eternal? What if your worth is not determined by how quickly you achieve your goals (or others for you), but rather by how honestly you live?
The issue isn’t just that we compare ourselves to others; we are inherently wired to seek meaning. However, when we pursue significance through speed, we often overlook what truly matters: God’s presence, grace, and love. Not someday, but right now.
We all feel behind at some point.
But behind what, exactly? A fabricated timeline? Someone else’s curated life? A dream that was never actually yours? There’s no universal script for how adulthood should unfold. No master spreadsheet for fulfillment. The deeper truth is this: You are not behind. You are becoming.
There’s a verse in Psalms that whispers wisdom for people in all kinds of spiritual places:“Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). This is nor about countdowns or bucket lists—it is about living aware. Of time. Of self. Of what actually matters when the noise of comparison quiets. Wisdom does not come from checking off boxes. It comes from being present, honest, and intentional with what you’ve been given. Even if it does not look flashy. Even if it feels slow.
I’ll be honest: I’ve followed Jesus since I was six. But I’ve also doubted Him, wrestled with disappointment, and wondered if I missed my moment. What I have discovered is that God’s plans for my life cannot be rushed. In fact, Jesus was often late by people’s expectations. Consider Mary and Martha in John 11. Jesus heard of Lazarus’s illness and delayed two days. Mary and Martha were upset with Jesus’s timing because did not hurry to heal Lazarus before he died. Jesus never chased crowds. Jesus moved with deep purpose—to only do what he saw his Father doing (John 5:19).
So, if you are wondering where God is during the waiting, perhaps the waiting is where He is revealing Himself. Maybe you are not lost; maybe you are being guided at a pace of love.
Grace is the gift of the good news of Jesus Christ. Grace is an invitation:
To breathe.
To pause.
To stop desiring a rushed timeline.
To stop carrying shame for what you cannot control.
Grace says, you are not a disappointment.
Grace says, you are not too late.
Grace says, you are seen, known, and in God’s timing.
What you can do:
If you are feeling behind today, here are a few ways to ground yourself: